“Strict, Overprotective Parents”: Struggles of a Millennial Traveler Daughter

I am turning 25 this year and my parents NEVER EVER agreed on ANY of my past, present, & future travel plans.

I don’t know if I should laugh or cry, or do both at the same time, but this is ridiculously disappointing.

I am the eldest in the brood of two. I graduated college 2013, I am now working in the corporate world, and my parents still has a say on everything that concerns me. My mother is now 57, and my father is 53.

I realized my parents weren’t as “normal” as other’s when I was 16. I was about to leave for Boracay on a 3D2N trip with my colleagues for a leadership seminar and they were having discussions as to what will happen. The trip was sort of mandatory because even if I attend or not, it will still be paid.

Traveling to Boracay from Manila, as we all know, includes land, air, and sea transportation. My mother was giving exaggerating scenarios like, “there are A LOT of reports on the news today about plane crashes, shipwrecks, calamities, etc..” “Many people died, this is dangerous, it’s really happening. You don’t even know how to swim!”

It was like she already gave every single possible negative scenario that could happen, for me to be convinced, change my mind and back out on my own.

I ended up going anyway. But they asked some people to look after me the entire trip.

I was trying to understand, at that time, because I was a minor, a girl, and that was my first travel without them.

When I was still studying, I thought the primary reason of their disapproval (aside from the lovingly care) was because it is their money that I would be using. So I made sure that I won’t have to ask from them, just for my plans to happen.

Time flew, I obeyed my parents, studied, got a bachelor’s degree, got employed, but things got worse, back in 2015, I was 22, my girl friend and I set an overnight vacation to Puerto Galera, just to unwind because we were both stressed out on our jobs. I informed my mother beforehand about the trip, there she goes, saying “maalon ang dagat ngayon, tsaka may papasok na bagyo”. Saying such things again, because I was traveling without them. I insisted and said it was already booked and paid. Guess what? We took the bus going to Batangas Port, and on our way to SLEX, they were blowing up my phone, my father raising his voice calling out that I should go straight back home.

I ended up going anyway. Although they would send messages scolding me, and instructing to lock the door and to always be alert.

Later that year, my cousins researched and planned a trip to Cagbalete. I informed my mother again, and she reported to my father. My father disapproved saying, “What would you do there? You don’t even know anyone in that place! We haven’t been to that place! Stop it, all 3 of you are female, you could be raped!”

To avoid another argument, this time, I stayed home.

A few days after that, I decided to go to Baguio instead with my cousin who was fresh from their Cagbalete trip without me. My father saw me with my bag as he was outside our house, again we were having arguments, but at that time he was unbelievable. We consider Baguio a safe place, that trip was my second time to Baguio, and my cousin who’ll go with me also lived there for years to study. I did not understand his point.

I ended up going anyway. He got me a cab and he apologized via SMS later that night.

Even with my last “colored” trip to Bukal Falls in Majayjay, Laguna, he’s giving the same old reasons.

As I was typing this blog post, then again, I was not able to join another ‘supposed unwinding getaway’ in Mariveles, Bataan. This is horrendous. I am really sorry for my friend, who spent Grab fare from BGC to the bus station in Sta. Cruz, Manila on a holiday at 1AM only to find out that I can’t make it. Mind you, I was the one who invited her.

Both of them got mad. My father screaming at me that it’s Lenten Season on a Good Friday (for them it’s not time for vacation since it’s Holy Week), and my friend who even plotted vacation leave for today.

Those that I have mentioned were local destinations here in the PH. Idk why but ever since I was young, I’ve always wanted to go to Hong Kong. Knowing my parents, since this will be out of the country, this dream trip will be THAT BIG of a DEAL. I advised them years ago that sooner or later this trip is eventually going to happen, and my plan now is to see HK this year. My father lived in HK for 6 months wayback in the 90s, and if you haven’t noticed, they would only disapprove last minute, so I guess, still, we’ll see 😉

Even before travel bloggers rose to fame, I’ve always loved traveling and exploring places I’ve never been to before. If you guys know me, you’d know that I’ve been to several places but every single time that I will travel I have to put up a fight. #SecretSpilled (Talk about fighting for your dreams, charot!)

This is beyond embarrassing. Some people who are even younger than me are doing waaaay crazier bizarre things and going waaaay further horizons. I tried to discuss things with them for YEARS, but I think we’ll never be on the same page, as they are not ‘that’ open minded and overly old-fashioned. Oh, how I envy other cultures where you are free when you reach 18 or 21. I’ve been embarrassed with my friends with this hullabaloo.  I’ve been back and forth with all levels of stress, they have no idea how this is affecting my mental health. It’s like you cannot truly enjoy your vacation because of them constantly bugging you what time will you arrive home. I feel like I’m missing out on life opportunities every time such things would happen. I’m sick and tired of the arguments. Don’t get me wrong, I know not everyone has parents, or have parents guiding them every step of the way and would truly be concerned for their children. I will forever be thankful for EVERYTHING that they’re doing for me and my brother, and I owe them my life.  But at some point, they’re gonna have to let go.  This cycle has to STOP. As much as I hate to say it, I’m not getting any younger. Same goes for my brother. I just can’t imagine being in my 30s with the same scenario. We can’t keep on letting other people decide for us. I’ll always love and respect them, but this is my own life, and I have to take control of it. I have to be in charge.

Exploring the world, being one with nature, traveling is my only way to stay sane, in this chaotic stressful millennial life.


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